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Flakians love social media. All of them claim expertise in it. In fact, you cannot really claim to be a Flakian without saying that social media is the greatest goddam thing since the Greeks put feta on salad or Halle Berry played a Bond girl.

Flakians also claim that you need their help to navigate social media’s complex waters.

The truth is that social media is not complicated:

  • You learn through doing.
  • You win by acting like a human, not a corporate jackass.
  • There’s a few other “rules,” but basically behaving like mommy told you to means you will do well.

Though the rules of engagement in social media are relatively simple, many companies and people act like self-centred morons in these channels.

THAT, my friends, is why Flakians love social media. It has given their industry a new lease on life and given them the power to charge high fees for “social media consultancy.”

Are these fees justified? Are Flakians best positioned to deal with social media for firms? Maybe. But given their past record (they are the race that invented spamming, spin and stonewalling) there’s reason to question whether Flakians are the species best suited to the task.

When you meet a Flakian or a herd of them in the wilds of a corporate boardroom, be ready for them to tell you about how social media can solve all of your problems (maybe even fix your marriage). Remember, though, this is the same species that created a language called “messaging.”

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