Your firm is in crisis. It has caused a major environmental catastrophe. Everyone is out for blood. Your CEO, rather than get down and dirty, decides to go…wait for it…yachting.
Yup, just a day in the life of BP!
They don’t, if memory serves, do much yachting in the ghetto. In fact, in terms of the elitist, detached image this activity projected, dude might as well have been atop a white steed playing frikkin polo.
Here are 10 things BP’s stupendous PR team could have done to keep Tony Hayward away from the lure of a high priced, fast moving boats and the fabulous PR they bring in times of enormous environmental crisis:
1. Set up a sit down with David Suzuki.
2. Put a dunce cap on Hayward’s head and invited Gulf Coast school kids to a tar and feather him with washed up BP oil.
3. Sent him to hippie commune to learn about the oneness of earth and beings.
4. Rented him a high priced hooker. Maybe even two of them to double the fun.
5. Organized a seance between the boat-loving bastard and the ghost of Mother Teresa.
6. Fastened a sandwich board to his body that said “Gushing ain’t all good.”
7. Urged the Board and shareholders to fire the idiot.
8. Sent him to North Korea on a biz dev trip.
9. Forced Hayward to walk through the French Quarter yelling “Save dem Shrimps.”
10. Put him on a rusty tanker in the middle of the ocean and said “paddle.”
Have a great week!