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I WISH I was Philippine President Gloria Arroyo’s Communications Director. It would be an awesome gig in terms of career development.

Agence France Presse reports that Glo glo has appointed her manicurist to the Board of a government agency responsible for lending tens of millions of dollars for the housing needs of government employees.

In response to accusations of cronyism, her spin monkey said, “The president wants the poorer government employees represented in the board because they are the ones with the housing needs.”

Uh-huh…GREAT stuff. Especially since the position pays DOUBLE the salary that Arroyo makes as PRESIDENT.

Here are 5 ways I’d explain this stroke of genius, if tasked with damage control:

  1. President Arroyo made this appointment after an extended session at the nail salon. She was high as a kite from inhaling toxic nail polish fumes.
  2. President Arroyo has the hottest hands of any world leader. She felt it was time to reward her manicurist’s exemplary genius.
  3. President Arroyo felt that appointing someone with in-depth knowledge about colour selection to a housing related agency would mitigate the crappy interior decorating tastes of the poor.
  4. The President really “nailed” this appointment.
  5. This is just the beginning. The President’s boy toy is going to take over the Tourism Ministry next month. He knows a lot about how to attract the attention of cash-laden half-wits looking for a good time.

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