8 Surefire Ways to Fuck Up a Business Blog Post

So many blogs. So many businesses blogging. So many crappy business blog posts that do nothing for the bottom line. Too many CEOs freaking out at marketers about wasted cash.

Let’s end the unnecessary carnage.

Here are 8 surefire ways to fuck up a business blog post:

1. Write the post without your target market/buyer persona in mind. Every business blog post should be written with an eye towards who you’d like to read it. What pains them? What do they need? How can you (the business) help them? Posts should help, entertain or amuse – not you – but your target customer.
2. Say “screw it” when it comes to keywords. Business blog posts should be built, at least a little, around specific keywords a target customer will actually plug into Google. Pick a key phrase and use it – in the slug, the title, the post, etc.
3. Write the post exclusively for algorithms and machines. We all love ranking on Google. But somewhere in there humans need to read your post. Make it so they can. Keyword stuffing and writing for inanimate objects is not going to amuse the humans who might eventually buy what you’re slinging.
4. Go image-less. We likey da photos. Especially on the web. Besides, alt text in pictures allows you to work in keywords another time and create a situation whereby Google may want to make out with you.
5. Write like a 2 year old. I know that Shakespeare now rots in the ground. I am also aware that writing is so much harder than marketers make it sound. Your blog posts don’t have to be English lessons, but try not to give the finger to the language every time you hit publish. You might wanna check out this checklist before hitting publish
6. Forget to include a call to action. A business blog is for business. Posts on your company blog should include calls to action so you can capture leads. Otherwise WTF are you doing? (Don’t feel bad, it took me years to figure this out).
7. Spit tired old shit in a tired old way. This is pretty much me telling you to “be remarkable.” I hate that bullshit line, so rather than using it I’ll just mention that you gotta be you when blogging. It makes for differentiation. Besides, Mom would’ve told you do the same.
8. Forget to include links. You should include links because – at a minimum – you can show your own content love. Perhaps you have others you wanna give to if you’re feeling altruistic.

Here’s to better blogging for you and me!