Today marks the beginning of a new series at Proper Propaganda.
It will discuss stuff PR people like and, so no one gets confused, will be called “Stuff PR people like.” Astounding creativity, I know.
Because Proper Propaganda’s management is so totally behind the times and unoriginal, it’s entirely possible that lists and categories like this one already exist. Either way, management don’t care.
Oh, and so no one thinks that Proper Propaganda’s management team are total jackasses, the series is meant to be comical and tongue in cheek. While it’s hard to believe this has to be said, reactions to previous posts with some edge to them occasionally bordered on the puritanical.
Without further ado, let’s look at item number one, “getting a name right.”
You’re a journalist. It’s a noble profession. A public service that pays you less than most public servants, engenders less respect and brings with it a harried lifestyle.
Who can blame you for needing the warmth and love of a bottle of cheap vodka once work is done?
Things are getting so hectic these days because of all those newsroom cutbacks. The worst part is, increasingly, you have to rely on shill-monkey PR flaks who try to control everything for story ideas.
I know you’re busy, stressed and longing for the sweet taste cheap vodka from Vladivostok. However, when I pitch you a story, invite you to an event, etc. I need you to do one thing for me: USE MY CLIENT’S/THE PRODUCT’S/WHATEVER I AM PITCHING YOU’S NAME AND SPELL IT RIGHT.
“Acme Inc” or “Product X” or “Sally Jones, CEO” need to be spelled just like that, no screwups. Got it?
For God’s sake, we lowly milksop Flakians (or at least the poor kids interning in our internment camps) spend hours creating press kits, swag bags, online newsrooms and other types of branded propaganda so that YOU, Dear Fourth Estater, get the name right!
When you get it wrong, or when you decide “space is too tight to include the company/product/whatever we’ve pitched you name” you put me and my friends in a tough spot.
See, folks pay us (usually it’s a decent sum, as you know) to raise awareness and spread the gospel about their stuff. If you leave out the name or get it wrong, people won’t know WTF the stuff is and will be less inclined to buy it – which makes the ROI on me less than awesome.
On a more human level, please understand that we Flakians have a job to do too. It’s in everybody’s LONG TERM best interest to ensure that things go well with this relationship. Little things, like getting a name right, matter.
If there’s any confusion about what the name is or how to spell it, just give a call and ask me about the product/company/whatever I’ve pitched you.
Each year, I wipeout large tracts of the Amazon Basin to produce propaganda so YOU’LL GET THESE DETAILS RIGHT! In a world where I knew you’d get names right we could save the ozone layer together! There’d be no more need for Earth Day. Everybody would love that.