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Twitter’s explosion has created a culture of “follower counting.”

In this whack game, size definitely matters. For some reason that no one has explained to me, 10 000 is one of the magic milestones.

It has gotten to the point where people are now listing their follower count on resumes, as if having 100, 500 or 10 000 followers on Twitter automatically makes them an “influencer” your team must have on its side.

The insane nonsense has to stop. RIGHT NOW.

Here, dear “Follower Counter,” are 7 reasons we don’t care that 10 000 poor souls have elected to check out your tweets:

  • You have 10 000 followers on Twitter, but 9999 of them would run for the hills if you asked them to help you move a couch.
  • You have 10 000 followers on Twitter, but at age 40 still live in Mom’s basement, cannot hold down a job and have yet to lose that “virginity thing.”
  • You have 10 000 followers on Twitter, but, like you, they still live in Mom’s basement, cannot hold down a job and have yet to lose that “virginity thing.” Only people running employment agencies, rooming houses or brothels really need to tap into this awesome community.
  • You have 10 000 followers on Twitter, but have only met 3 of them in person.
  • Kim Kardashian,  sex tape intellectual superstar, has over 3 million Twitter followers. Clearly there’s a strong correlation between high powered brains and follower counts.
  • If a dog hit “follow” enough times, he’d have 10 000 followers in 4 weeks because suckers like you would follow him back.
  • Because, contrary to what your 6 ex-wives told you, size doesn’t always matter in life.

Join the discussion 25 Comments

  • Mike Donnell says:

    Someone please take Jackson’s keyboard away from him before he writes something silly again. Interesting that someone who promotes causes full time can’t make the see the value of reaching out to people with a message who he has never met.

  • Thanks for the comment. Not really sure what you mean. I am all about connecting and spreading messages re good works.

    I am also, sometimes, sarcastic and cynical. This blog post was meant as a humorous diversion and a response to the “follower counting” that some people seem to be engaging in as a result of Twitter’s explosion.

    I am sorry if I was not clear enough about the perspective from which this was written but I thought it was pretty obvious.

    In any event, I deserve to keep my keyboard.

    Have a great day!

  • Karen Thuente says:

    I like the sarcasm in the article. It made me chuckle and, today, that is not an easy task. More importantly, while I didn’t realize that there were “Follower Counters,” now I know, and I will be less likely to take them seriously should I see any. So, here is a cheer for Mr. Wightman’s saving me time.

  • Thanks Karen! Glad you had a laugh. That was the pt! 🙂

  • Briget says:

    I totally agree with your post! I saw a job posting that required a min of 2000 PERSONAL followers. I’m cool with companies having a lot of followers but for me, I prefer quality over quantity. I don’t want idiots mucking up my stream. I only follow/follow back, people who give me value.

    Much needed post, IMO.

  • Ben says:

    Jackson, if this website is about “Carrying Out The Revolution”, then you shouldn’t kowtow to people like Mike D. Mike is probably one of those people who has 10,000 followers on his twitter (all of which are auto-follows) and it means something important to him. It’s his little boy-scout badge of internet importance. You don’t need to apologize and weaken your posts by saying they are just “humorous diversions”. You are making a statement. Stick with it.

  • Thanks Ben.

    Not sure I kowtowed or that explaining that the post had humorous intent somehow “weakens” it. Have a good day.

  • Hey Bridget,
    That is whacked about the job! Some should start a website that calls these people out (if there isn’t one already).
    By the sounds of it we’re on the same page in terms of our personal policies re who we follow.

  • Sarah Charton says:

    Well said sir!!! Personally, I don’t allow anyone to follow me if I don’t know them somehow.

  • sherry heyl says:

    10,000 followers is a great thing is they are listening and interacting with you. However I have seen many cases where it is follower counters following follower counters. It is hilarious actually. They set up ways to automatically follow people and follow people back. They tweet via twitter feed and or scheduled tweets and they never log in to their twitter accounts. All 10,000 whom are following each other. It is like a room full of tape recorders playing messages that no one is listening to.

  • Hey Sherry,

    VERY well said. I love the room full of tape recorders analogy.

    I was actually just checkin out messages form one of the Linkedin groups I belong to – social media marketing. I was struck by the sheer number of people offering services that would “get you 1000 Twitter followers in X number of days.” I am sure, like me, you’ve seen similar “services” re Facebook friends etc.

    It’s unbelievable. I think these people are praying on neophytes and are pretty sketchy (at best).

    Thanks for stopping by and for leaving a comment. Hope you have a nice Sunday.

  • Kevin Hayes says:

    Twitter announce they have 105 million users. Out of those users, do you think that they maybe have 20% of active quality users? Maybe more, maybe less. As always, the true success stories of the internet always revolve around quality. Some of us need 10,000 users to feel awesome. Some of use have 10,000 users to spread our company message in hopes of creating brand awareness. Some of us have 10,000 followers because we are that frekin’ interesting! The point is, Twitter is a small part of someones social media identity. No matter who you are, the truth is always out there somewhere!

  • Danny Brown says:

    Some interesting numbers with 10,000 in them:

    – The pronunciation of 10,000 proper names:

    – The amount of times Edison failed:

    – 10,000 Maniacs had an awesome song called Don’t Talk:

    – 10,000 BC was another crappy movie from Roland Emerich.

    The point? While 10,000 can be good, it can also be a crappy caveman movie. So who really cares about being one more than 9,999? 😉

  • Great post! Sarcasm and all! It always amazes me how into the follower count some people get. Some are so infatuated with it that they forget to socialize! Collect marbles, engage on social media!

  • Thanks Danny! Some funny 10, 000’s there 🙂

    Who needs another “crappy caveman movie” anyway? HA!

  • Thanks Angela – could not agree more!

  • Ed Han says:

    People are putting that in their resumes?!

    Thank you, that was snarktacular!

  • Luke Bruss says:

    As a blogger/PR grad scratching and clawing to get noticed and make my mark in the biz, I see my paltry follower count of 168 as a sign of integrity. The followers I do have are fellow hockey fans who I interact with several times a day, and as a result hope for good word of mouth, retweets, and most importantly, more visits to my web site. I refuse to pad my follower count by searching out attention-needy follow counters.

    The small number of followers I have allows me to pay more attention to the wants and needs of my readers. They become my captive audience, and not some random useless number in a meaningless count.

    I know a guy, who has THOUSANDS of followers and proudly announces it compared to mine. Sure, he may have more followers than me. But what do I want with a follower who promises to make my anatomy bigger or save me money on appliances? You can’t boost your visibility with spambots.

    And who puts their follower count on their resume anyway!?

    Keep up the good work, Jackson!

  • Steven Streets says:

    I manage a Rooming House … so funny

  • kscarol says:

    You made me laugh. I have often thought the same things. I see people on twitter bragging about their number of followers as if it somehow makes them more important in some way. And then I see them freaking out because someone unfollowed them. They take it as a personal affront. Its just all silliness to me. I’m on twitter to keep track of a couple of peoples touring and speaking schedules and otherwise I neither seek or pay much attention.

  • Eric Thoma says:

    Good article.
    I do wish you made it more clear that you were being sarcastic to a certain extent. It came off a little scathing. Obviously having 10,000 Twitter followers does have some real pull, even though I agree that it isn’t something to be cocky about. Anyway, good article.

    *Shameless Plug Time*
    My blog is at . It’s new but I already have a helpful article or two there!

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