9 things you must know about listicles

The internet has made it so you and I can’t handle a bunch of things. Chief among these are large blocks of text.

On the web, we want pictures, videos, anything that is quick, easy and can be digested without a taxing amount of focus. You’d think a medium that prioritizes this kind of content would be the last place we’d go for substantive knowledge, but it is, for most of us most of the time, the first.

Our intolerance for fat chunks of words has been a boon for infographics, photo slideshows and listicles. It’s about the latter that I want to talk today.

Here, in listicle format, are 9 things you should know about listicles:

1. Science has shown that listicles are the literary equivalent of a $20 bag of crack rock.
2. The top 3 posts on this site are listicles.
3. The first known listicle was first created in the Philistine Pentapolis circa 1100 BC. It was titled 25 Reasons to Hate Reading.
4. This relic now sits in the editor’s office at Cosmo.
5. The word listicle is a portmanteau of list and article. Saying the word portmanTOE at a party may impress (but it also may get you punched in the face).
6. Listicles are an excellent way to write if you’re not good at writing.
7. There have been more listicles written regarding tips for PR/marketing than on any other subject in the history of humanity.
8. Most PR and marketing still sucks.
9. In Sentinelese, the language of the most isolated tribe on Earth, the word “listicle” means “candy ass.”

Happy listicle writing my friends!