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Ever wonder if your crisis communications program is failing?

Here are a few signs that it is

  1. A┬ásmarmy bastard opens a fake Twitter account using your firm’s name and logo.
  2. Because this smarmy bastard is extraordinarily hilarious,┬ásaid Twitter account quickly gains over 61 000 followers. That’s more than most social media experts have.
  3. The mainstream media report on items 1 and 2 en masse, like a herd of Icelandic Killer Sheep.
  4. The letters B and P are in your name and you sling viscous products that do not come from olives but are still turned into edible food-like substances.
  5. ‘Hanoi’ Jane Fonda starts flipping the hell out. Oh, wait, that means your tactics are potentially working and at least worth continuing.
  6. A no-name blogger from Soviet Quebecistan writes a quasi-humourous post on your misfortune.

Is this you? If so, you may want to consider firing your entire comms department and/agency of record. You could easily replace them with a gang of kindergarten kids and get the same results for less money (though breaking the child labour laws is never too wise an idea in the middle of a PR crisis).

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