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The Library of Congress is going to archive every single tweet. I know…it’s a great public service that will serve future generations incredibly well.

Like me, I am sure you’re wondering what your great grandkids will think if, eighty years from now, they dive into this treasure trove of genius at the LOC?

Here are 8 questions they might ask:

  1. Where can I get me some hashtag? Great Grandpa and his pals were gettin’ waaaaay high on that stuff.
  2. Was there any good music made in 2010? If so, why the hell were they so fixated on some little brat named Bieber?
  3. How is it possible that everyone on Twitter – including the celebrities of the day – was a “social media expert”?
  4. Was this AplusK guy some kind of cult leader? He had more followers than Jesus.
  5. Why did those attention whores want to tell their friends about what they ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner?
  6. What exactly were those people following on Fridays? Was it that cultist AplusK dude or the hot blond chick with the ‘i’ at the beginning or her name?
  7. Did this Steve Jobs guy have some kind of mind meld over Great Grandpa and his Twitterati cronies? How the hell could his company have been a trending topic so often without actually having a Twitter account?
  8. Could those dumb asses actually tweet anything without completely butchering the language?

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